Hi Jeff

I am sorry that your child is angry and i hope that you can resolve this situation very soon. Here are some ideas. I hope that you take them with a positive and open mind. I am sure you and whomever is raising this child is doing what you believe is right for your child.

There are many things that can cause anger...One of them is stress that can be accelerated by a diet that is full of too much sugar, soft drinks and candy and many other things that are now a part of the daily diet. Anger can also be caused by some chemical deficiency in the brain. Have you had your child examined by a doctor for this??

This may sound a little crazy but two days ago I witnessed a very strange sudden expression of anger from a 3 year old little boy. My wife and I were at friend's house for dinner. My wife was playing with the little boy as she has many other times, suddenly he did not like the way she tickled him. He ran to the couch where I sat and he rammed his head against the hard part of the armrest at the end 3 times before his parents stopped him.. Then he was fine....WOW i could not believe it, one minute he was laughing and loving it the next he was smacking his forehead hard and really hurting himself and I think not feeling the pain. .

Anger is a very destructive bad emotion to posses.....It is the most devastating human emotion.. I believe it comes from not being satisfied with what is going on in your life at that moment that the explosion occurs. It can come suddenly or built up like water in a dam that suddenly burst....

When the child becomes angry the child feels that no one is giving he or she what is needed or less than they expect. He or she can feel unloved. The feeling of not being loved creates hurt, FEAR, and pain. At that moment the love turns in to hate, all of the bad accumulated stuff comes out, the anger explodes like a wounded rattle snake full of venom.

I do not know how old your child is...what I do know is that children are not much different than adults. Most people do not give them enough credit they just try to help them grow the best they know how..but sometimes we the parents do not have enough skills to be good teachers.. We learned what we know about living from our parents and they learned from their parents...Then off course there are the experts on TV...they contribute to all of the ways we live our lives....and raise our children. Some of these old ideas are now obsolete....Times are moving very fast children are coming in to the world with a full developed brain only because they are small they are not being acknowledged as intelligent enough to communicate what they want.. I have seen it by watching my 7 granddaughters grow, the kids now days are so smart i think they should pack one in every electronic equipment that we adults buy to show us how to work it...They can communicate and very well if we get down to their level. When they ask for things that are not possible at that time then they need to be explained why they can not have it or do it then. They truly learn by what action they see their parents take or whom ever they are being raised by. Another word they become carbon copies of the the people raising them including society.

Not to put it in your corner Jeff but you have to asked your self (How are my communication skills with not only my child but the rest of the world out there)? What ever answer you get from that question is OK as long as it is honest. NO one is going to accuse you of anything so really look on what kind of relationship you have with your child...Do you play often with your child?....I think to be a good parent you must be a good friends and you must play like you did when you were a child....children relate to playing more than anything else and you can see how happy they are when they are playing. so why not play and have fun your self to.

Good Luck and God bless.

Peace and love

Mystic

Hi Jeff,

How old is your child? Have you had any life changes recently? Is he getting enough sleep? Does it occur when he is hungry, or at a specific time of day? Yes, children do suffer from depression. It sounds like he may have a lot of feelings that he doesn't know how to process. Asking "what's wrong" is usually too big of a question for a child. If you can get a bead on what triggers the anger, and talk about that specific thing, then maybe something else will come out.

Have you spoken to his teachers or care-givers? What are those observations?

Try not to "fix" it (I know that's often how guys are wired), but rather listen empathetically "wow, those are rough feelings to have" and ask questions that encourage more dialogue, such as "oh, so Tommy ignored you at school?" and that kind of thing. See what comes next. Try to refrain from telling him how to feel or not to feel. That's the hard part, because we want to alleviate the suffering.

A good book is "How to talk so kids will listen and how to listen so kids will talk" by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish.

Good luck!