All too often we see change as a threat -- something to be feared.  Our minds are so preoccupied with trying to maintain stability and security in our lives that we forget that the only constant we should expect is change.  If you think back on your life, you will probably see that it has been continually changing -- has anything ever stayed the same?  Friends change, finances change, schools and jobs change, even families change.

Sure, some changes can be invigorating and exciting, but if someone else tells us that we need to change something about our character, we often become defensive and resist.  There is fear and hopelessness because we don't know how or where to start.  It's easier to get defensive.  We might resist change because we are afraid of failing or have become so comfortable with the familiar that it is easier to NOT change, even if we are unhappy.  We might resist change because we might be anxious about losing relationships, prestige, or even our identity. 

Hearing that change is needed can be really difficult and we might feel criticized, but we could also feel concerned about the criticism we might receive FOR changing.  Teens often find themselves in this bind.  Pressed by parents to change, they know that if they make their parents happy by changing, they risk upsetting their friends.  From their perspective, teens might choose the criticism of parents over the criticism of their peers.  Others just find change to be a complete drain on their emotions and they don't have the energy to make the effort.

To change means giving up some part or piece of ourselves, and this is not easy.  Your teen may actually come to fear change to some degree, and have a hard time accepting the need for change in his or her life.  

What might be your fears regarding change?  What do you think your teen might be afraid of?