As parents, we know that all children are different from each other.  Personality characteristics vary from child to child, even within the same family.  One sibling might be more audacious and adventurous, while the other tends to be more cautious and reserved.  One may be moody, while the other is consistently carefree. 

How our kids interact socially, the amount of ambition and drive they have, the ways they learn, the degree to which they are dependent or independent, are but a few of the characteristic differences in our kids.  And thankfully so, since these distinctions are what makes each one of them the unique individuals that they are.

How our children respond to discipline tactics can also vary from one to the other.  The discipline methods that work with one child to bring about a desired change in attitude or behaviors might not work as well with another child.  The techniques that work well for us in our family and with our kids, might not produce the same results when tried by other parents in other families.  All of these as well as other response differences in our children are what make knowing how to discipline them in a successful manner yet another challenge we take on when we make the choice to become parents.

Such unique differences are what make parents' task to discipline their kids so hard at times.  It is because of this fact that there is no book that I know of that offers us a recipe for how specifically to discipline our children, and what to do in every single situation that we will encounter as parents.  Hence, the fine art of disciplining children is not an exact science.

There really is a difference between punishment and discipline.

In our daily conversations, most of us use the terms "punishment" and "discipline" in an interchangeable manner, assuming that both terms refer to the same parenting response to a child's unacceptable behavior.  During my parenting workshops, I usually start by suggesting that in today's modern family, there is often an occurrence of excessive punishment.  Most parents who hear me say this respond with a glare, a shake of their head, or a quiet whisper to the person next to them.  Some parents quickly raise their hands, eager to challenge my declaration.  I hardly ever receive agreement with this notion.

The reaction I get most often is a corporate argument that just the opposite is true -- that there ought to be MORE punishment taking place in our homes these days.  These parents argue that perhaps additional punishment would finally bring about a change in the attitudes of irresponsibility and rebellion that is so common in kids these days.  Maybe a more consistent use of punishment would go a long way in "designing" children who would be more self-controlled and well behaved.

I always quickly point out and explain that while as parents, we must not depend on punishment to extract changes from our children and their unacceptable behaviors and attitudes, we must attempt to learn the fine art and use of creative and healthy discipline techniques.  Though there is often too much punishment going on, there is simultaneously, a lack of discipline.

I look forward to your feedback and comments as you read more about this very important topic.