We need a license to drive, hunt, fish, or marry -- but anyone can become a parent, qualified or not.  Most people agree that being a parent is one of the most difficult and challenging jobs anyone could ever have.  It is incredibly hard, but also rewarding, to be a single parent and do the job alone.  The 24/7 nature of parenting is exhausting, and the challenge is to create a strong family unit that can survive in this ever changing world, regardless of the family structure. 

The trials and tribulations of parenting bring joy and heartache over the years, and just when you think you have it all figured out, your kids move on to the next stage.  Even the "experts" don't have all the answers.  

Let me share one of my favorite stories by an unknown author to illustrate this point: 

There was once a widely respected man who taught parenting classes in his community.  He was acknowledged as an expert on the joys and challenges of raising children, even though he himself had none.  He called his class "The Ten Commandments for Parents." 

Then he met the woman of his dreams, married, and eventually had a child.  He continued teaching his class, now titled "Five Suggestions for Parents." 

Soon after, he had a second child and renamed the class "Three Tentative Hints for Parents."  

Finally he and his wife had twins, and he stopped teaching the class entirely! 

According to the most recent U.S. Census Bureau Statistics, there are approximately 13.6 million single parents in the U.S. today, and those parents are raising 21.2 million children. Additionally, single father homes have grown by 60%, just in the last 10 years.  Chances are THAT you may have grown up in a single parent household, you may be raising children in a single parent household, or you have a family member who is a single parent.  

Many single parents feel unsupported or isolated, but the statistics show that you are not alone.  I frequently recommend that single parents find a local support group where it feels safe to share common experiences, wisdom, and practical advice. 

Single parents want what is best for their children, and usually do the best they can to love, nurture, and provide for their children.  Healthy single parents build a strong foundation reinforced by unity, love, respect, and clear boundaries.  This strong foundation helps weather the storms and turbulence that may come from internal or external forces.  In the book, "3 Steps to a Strong Family," authors Richard and Linda Eyre offer a simple 3-step program to help make family life more rewarding and less stressful for everyone.  These steps may apply to any type of family structure: 

  1. Create rules that teach, not punish
  2. Create a family economy to teach about money and responsibility
  3. Create family traditions and rituals to celebrate your family You are not defined by the label of single parent unless you choose to be defined that way.

 

You can choose to be the best parent you can be, regardless of the circumstances.  Good parenting has less to do with the number of parents in the home and more to do with the love, values, respect, and the quality of parenting.  Children raised in single parent households are not doomed to failure.  And, with hard work, patience, love and understanding, you and your children can prove my point!