It is a challenging and difficult time to raise children, especially if you are a single parent.  You may be short on time, energy, money and patience.  You are trying to do the best you can with the knowledge and resources you have, but sometimes it feels like it isn't enough.  Of course, you know there are only so many hours in a day, and you can only accomplish so much.  Perhaps it feels like everything is spinning out of control.  Or it may feel like all work, no play, especially if all the responsibility is on you.  

If it feels like you are being pushed and pulled in every direction, these coping strategies may be helpful: 

1.  Don't Buy Into The Doom And Gloom Statistics

Children who are raised by single parents are not doomed to failure.  Despite all that you may have heard, watched on TV, or read about, children raised by single parents can be loving, caring, and responsible, and develop into healthy and loving adults.  Regardless of whether you chose to be a single parent or became a single parent as a result of divorce or death of the other parent, your ability to love and care for your children is more relevant and influential than statistical data.  

2.  Sometimes Good Enough Is Good Enough

Of course you want to do your best when it comes to your children, but the reality is that there are times when you can only do so much, and that is okay.  Sometimes it really is important for things to be done correctly and in a timely manner, but there are other times when good enough is good enough.  Do you really have to bake three dozen perfect cupcakes from scratch for the bake sale?  Does your house have to look like a model home at all times?  Stand your ground about the things that really matter, figure out when an okay job is acceptable, and let go of unrealistic expectations.  

3.  Taking Stock

If you want to implement some changes, but don't know where to start, I recommend that you start by "taking stock" of what IS working and what is NOT working in your life.  We frequently pay more attention to what is wrong than with what is right.  If you had a good day, ask yourself what was different on that day (diet, exercise, socialized, nap, meditate, lunch date, watched a movie, took a yoga class, hiked, etc.).  Note the behavior patterns and activities that seem to decrease your stress, depression or anxiety.

Writing it down can be very helpful: What I'm doing that IS working/What I'm doing that is NOT working

What I need to START doing/What I need to STOP doing 

4.  Bring Chaos Under Control

Disorganization at home, work, or school costs you and your children precious time, energy, and money.  If you and your children are surrounded by clutter, papers, bills, schoolwork, and stuff everywhere, you may feel stressed, anxious, and overwhelmed the minute you open your door.  Most people don't realize how much they are impacted by their environment.  Often my clients tell me that they feel more calm the minute they step into my waiting room, even if they had a terrible day or just got stuck in traffic.  And of course, I designed it to be warm, welcoming, and peaceful. I encourage you to think of a space that helps you feel more peaceful and relaxed, and then decide how you can create that feeling in your own home.  Think about plants, comfortable furniture, pleasant scents, artwork, soft pillows or whatever it takes to create a harmonious space for you and your children.  If they are old enough, this can be a project you do together.  If you are a perfectionist, review step 2. 

5.  One Day At A Time

When things seem particularly stressful, remind yourself to breathe and take it one day at a time.  It may feel like the hard days will last forever, but one day at a time keeps the focus on the present and is not so overwhelming.  Single parents face unique challenges that may seem impossible, which is why I recommend joining a single parent support group, either in person or online.  Other single parents understand what you are going through, and can offer great wisdom, compassion and advice.  If nothing else, they remind you that you are not alone.  Never underestimate the power of compassion and support when you are in need.  And the best part is, someday you can PAY IT FORWARD.