I don't know about you, but since becoming a Mom, I feel like the most over-used word in my vocabulary is "No" -- followed closely by "Don't." I get tired of hearing myself say them, so I can imagine how weary my daughter is of listening to them.
It is my job as a parent to guide my child and help her make good choices. So those words aren't going anywhere anytime soon. Still, I could use a little help with teaching. That's where books -- especially picture books -- come in handy.
There is no shortage of children's picture books with stories whose intended purposes are to teach a specific lesson, whether it is the ABCs of friendship or the XYZs of potty training. There is a book for just about anything we want to help a young child understand.
In books like No, David! By David Shannon and No Biting! By Karen Katz -- both personal favorites -- the lessons and expected behaviors are explicit. Sometimes, though, it's better to let the kids glean the lessons from the story and/or its illustrations. This is particularly useful for the no-weary parent for four reasons.
- You aren't the one saying "No." Even though [name your character] says the exact same thing you do about being sloppy, kids will believe him or her first.
- The kids don't hear "No." Your kids are looking at what happens and thinking about what's going on. They are exploring the story by anticipating events or their consequences.
- The kids feel superior to the character. It's okay -- a little ego boost is good for their self-esteem and confidence. They empathize with the characters and can suggest ways to make things better.
- You and your child can laugh together. Most of the time, these stories the events and consequences are exaggerated to make sure the lessons aren't missed.
These are the books that help kids learn by letting them see the wrong way to do things. Kids see themselves in the book character, but they don't see themselves AS the book character. Because you are talking about a "third person," you've eliminated the pressure your child may feel about the topic at hand. In the child's mind, you've separated the behavior from him or her, so he or she might be more interested in talking about choices and consequences.
Children's book illustrators are an incredibly talented bunch. They often have secondary activities that aren't directly related to the text in their illustrations. We have found stories that are just fun to read that have no specific lesson at all, but which end up being stories where we can talk about behaviors. While I was reading the words about spending the day at the beach, the five-year-old was dissecting the illustration, talking about the child pouring sand over another child's head.
The next time you pick up a picture book, spend some time looking at the pictures to see what's hiding in plain view. If there are lessons you're hoping to convey to your child, ask your child's librarian or your child's teacher for some recommendations. I promise you, they won't say "No."
What are your favorite life lesson books for kids?
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