1. Planning and Priorities.  Parents don't make their child's need for sleep a priority.  Once your child is sleeping well, you have a little more flexibility but until then, make sure you don't get distracted and bend rules all the time.  Sleep needs to come first!

2. Inconsistency.  Parents are often inconsistent both at bedtime and in how they respond to night wakenings.  For example, one night a mother might feed a child back to sleep; other times she will rock the baby; and another time she will bring the baby into the parents' bed in desperation.  Even a very young child can get confused, and inconsistency can lead to more tears, not less.
3. Late bedtimes.  Children need on average 10-11 hours of sleep at night for the first 9 years of their lives!  Too late a bedtime and skipped naps will create poor quality sleep, more night wakenings, and an overtired child.
4. Letting children use "sleep crutches."  If babies or toddlers are allowed to fall asleep being nursed, bottled fed, rocked or walked to sleep at bedtime, they won't learn how to fall asleep on their own.  And when they wake up during the night (as we all do) they won't be able to go back to sleep without being nursed, fed, rocked or walked to sleep again.  They need to be given the opportunity to learn how to put themselves to sleep -- a vital life skill.  Teaching our children how to put themselves to sleep is one of our many parenting responsibilities.
5. No routines.  Children need a schedule or routine -- not a totally rigid one but a basic, predictable framework during the day and before sleep that comforts our children and helps them prepare for sleep.

6. Lack of parental teamwork.  Instead of having a united front as parents, some couples blame each other for their child's poor sleep, or sabotage each other's efforts to improve their child's sleep.  It's less important to focus on how the sleep problems began than on how you are going to change it -- together. 

7. Lack of planning.  Discuss what sleep coaching steps best match your parenting styles, and which parent is best able to carry them out.  And don't try to come up with your plan at 2 a.m.!  Talk it out when you are both rested.  Come up with a plan that works for both of you, and then stick to it!
8. Practicing "reactive co-sleeping."  Some couples decide that they want to have their child sleep in their bed, for the first few months or for a few years.  That's fine, if you both agree and you know all the safety precautions.  But "reactive co-sleeping" is when the baby is in your bed as a last resort because you just don't know how else to get him to sleep -- not because you have chosen the family bed.

9. Impatience.  It took months or years for your child to develop his sleep problems.  Don't expect to change them overnight.  Families need to dedicate two or three weeks of their time, energy and consistency to sleep coaching to see significant changes in night sleep and naps.
10. Inaction.  Parents often believe that sleep disruptions, even for years, are normal and inevitable, or that the child's sleep habits will just have to change on their own. You don't have to be exhausted -- and neither does your child.  All children can learn how to sleep.  Some just need a little more help than others.