Parents eagerly wait for their babies to start sleeping through the night -- but strictly speaking there isn't really such a thing as sleeping through the night.  We constantly transition and cycle between light sleep and deep sleep (REM or dream sleep, and non-REM).  As we switch from one phase to another, the change in our brain activity often wakes us up a little bit.  This is called a "partial arousal" and we all experience it.  We may roll over and mumble or, every three or four hours, we may be a little more alert -- up just long enough to adjust a pillow.  But we fall back asleep and we scarcely remember it in the morning.  But the trick is that we know how to put ourselves back to sleep.  An infant or toddler who has never learned how to fall asleep on her own won't be able to put himself back to sleep in the middle of the night.  So for these children, a "partial" awakening during these natural cyclical sleep transitions becomes a full awakening, and one that requires you to intervene to help him fall asleep again -- maybe several times a night. The child is basically saying to himself, "Hey, I'm sort of awake and I'm in my crib, I'm tired and I don't know how to go back to sleep without Mom nursing me or Dad walking me up and down the hallway or someone helping me find my pacifier.  So now I'm going to do the only thing I can do.  I'm going to cry!"  This isn't just hard on you as a parent.  It's also hard on your child because he isn't getting enough sleep -- and he certainly isn't getting enough deep, restorative sleep.  This is why once our babies get past those first few months (when their physiological sleep cycles have not yet begun to mature and their sleep is light), we as parents have to help gently guide our children into learning to sleep on their own.

It's important to remember that quality matters for children as much as quantity.  If you get seven or eight hours of uninterrupted sleep, don't you feel better than if you sleep 10 hours but were up four times?  It's the same for a child.  If he gets 10 hours of sleep with no significant disturbances, he is much better off than with 12 hours with numerous awakenings when he's crying for you to come nurse, rock, walk or snuggle him back to sleep.  Our bodies and our minds both need that good, solid sleep.  You will see the difference in your child's mood and behavior.  Children who get enough restorative night sleep will have a better mood, better health, and more ability to focus and learn.  Quality makes a difference in naps too.  Three 20-minute catnaps do not have the same benefit as one solid hour.

There are some easy steps you can take to start teaching your child to sleep.  Start putting your baby down in the crib when he is drowsy but still awake.  Let him learn to do that last part of falling asleep on his own and he'll soon be able to do it in the middle of the night as well.  Watch your child's "sleep window" -- when he is really ready for sleep, before that second wind kicks in.  If you wait until he's overtired, he will actually wake up more and take shorter naps.  But I do believe you should respond when he wakes up -- I never left my own kids to scream alone in the middle of the night.  However, I recommend that you follow a sleep coaching system that you are comfortable with, so you can learn to respond and reassure your child while still guiding her toward greater sleep independence. 

Helping our children (and ourselves!) get the proper quantity and quality of sleep is one of parenting's biggest challenges.  Combine that with the quest for proper nutrition, safety, structure, and love, and it's no wonder why our nation is sleep-deprived!  By becoming aware of your child's natural patterns and listening to his cues, you can make gentle changes that will improve the well-being of your entire family.