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Sometimes we are so busy trying to get our teens to follow a few simple rules and conform to our directions that it is easy to forget that the main goal of all adolescents is to actually do the opposite of what we want.  Teens are determined to differentiate themselves from their parents at all costs.Because teens are trying to separate themselves from their parents, there will always be a desire for distance between the teen and his parents.  They have very little motivation to connect with their parents through being the same.  Let me explain this -- teens want your love but they don't want to be like you in order to get it.  As parents, we like who we are and believe that modeling our lives has some value.  We hope that our kids emulate our work ethic and values.  But this is the exact opposite of what teens are trying to achieve during the stages of adolescence (and it is just a stage -- it will eventually end).  Sure, teens still want the love of their parents and will do many ... read more »

All too often we see change as a threat -- something to be feared.  Our minds are so preoccupied with trying to maintain stability and security in our lives that we forget that the only constant we should expect is change.  If you think back on your life, you will probably see that it has been continually changing -- has anything ever stayed the same?  Friends change, finances change, schools and jobs change, even families change.Sure, some changes can be invigorating and exciting, but if someone else tells us that we need to change something about our character, we often become defensive and resist.  There is fear and hopelessness because we don't know how or where to start.  It's easier to get defensive.  We might resist change because we are afraid of failing or have become so comfortable with the familiar that it is easier to NOT change, even if we are unhappy.  We might resist change because we might be anxious about losing relationships, prestige, or even our identity. Hearing... read more »